One Of The Furies

James May's new Formula One regulations

For one day in 1955, dozens of Italian towns and hamlets were briefly terrorised by a visitation from the sounds and furies of top-level motor racing.

This was an era when, if you actually owned a car, it would probably struggle to crack 55mph; yet here were cars coming past the front doors of houses at three times that, terrifying their inhabitants and traumatising their livestock. It was unspeakably dangerous and unthinkable in this day and age.

Or is it? All it takes is a little lateral thinking. I propose keeping F1 on an enclosed circuit, but then introducing some of the hazards of the town to make it more challenging.

That means there will be traffic lights, speed humps and, er, Gatso cameras. Where once we might have had a chicane, there will now be a traffic-calming measure with a width restriction. Pointless mini-roundabouts, pelican crossings, bus lanes with buses in them: these will all feature.

Pedestrians, too, including a couple of blokes trying to cross the road with a big pane of glass. It will be pointless trying to learn the circuit, because on the morning of the race a large stretch of it could be coned off to protect a temporary council site office and a parked wheelbarrow. The "pace car" will be a coach-load of Italian tourists.

One of the few restrictions in my new formula would concern the size of the car's fuel tank, which will be quite small. This is because I still want pit stops. However, the pits will be nothing like the ones we know now; in fact, there will just be one for everybody, and it will be a regular petrol station like the ones we use.

Worse, it will also be one with a shop, so the fuel-stop strategy will have to take into account the number of annoying people in the queue buying pork pies and newspapers. Michael Schumacher will have to carry his Maestro card with him and, as any motorcyclist knows, will be obliged to remove his helmet before paying for his fuel.

His car will also have to have a boot, since another of my rules will state that a driver must take advantage of whatever special offer is open to people spending more than £20 on unleaded – a big torch, a barbecue, whatever. It could be one of those folding chairs with a beer-can holder in the arm, and where would you put that in the 2005 Jordan, eh?

This is the great thing about my new formula. It will be much more fun to watch, because instead of an overtaking manoeuvre every three weeks, the spectators will be treated to the electrifying spectacle of Schumacher filling up while Barrichello waits at a pelican crossing and Alonso slows down for the temporary speed camera at the roadworks.

Red River Noise music blogazine: Concert Review: The Rosebuds at ...

Oax is a relatively new band composed of Giorgio Angelini, who once played for The Rosebuds and Bishop Allen. Angelini also fronted a band called 1986 with Cully Symington (Okkervil River), returned to graduate school, and has returned to the music scene with Oax. Despite performing unannounced, Oax’s folk-rock (heavy on the rock) sound was a pleasant surprise. “This is a song about a girl-- big surprise there-- and then we broke up,” Angelini introduced. He performed the catchy track,  “Love and Crashing”, with a vulnerable sincerity and tons of energy. Following, Oax performed “Liar, Cheap, Jerk”. With the new record having been released mid-June, and opening for Peter, Bjorn and John, with this momentum, we can certainly expect to see more of Oax in the near future. Promoting their latest album, Loud Planes Fly Low -- released early June 2011-- The Rosebuds primarily performed tracks featured on that particular album, such as “Limitless Arms”, “Come Visit Me”, “Cover Ears”, and "Second Bird of Paradise". Loud Planes Fly Low , is the first album produced by The Rosebuds since front-musicians Kelly Crisp and Ivan Howard’s divorce. Staying together for the sake of music, this particular album exuded more humanity and vulnerability than anything The Rosebuds produced before. Every track overflows with sincerity and this cold desire for compassion, all while mustering a beacon of hope to make it to the end of the track. Such things resonate well through beautifully composed music and powerful artists.

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